Okay I changed the name of the blog yet again; I was originally wanting to be funny to have some crazy name but a joke is only funny the first time you see it then it's not so funny anymore. Okay so I have been meaning to write about this on the for a couple months now and I really didn't have enough substance to put it in the other blog but since the goal of these ones is to make it shorter I have plenty for this little entry. Now I can remember 5th grade sex ed. they had some guy come in to talk to the boys while the girls were off talking to whoever. He asked the class, "What do you think when a man has sex with multiple partners?" somebody chimed in, "he's a stud," and then he asked, "what we think of when a girl has sex with multiple partners?" And that was my introduction to the double-standard. I actually wish there wasn't even a double-standard; think about it, if girls thought it was kick ass to have sex with as many guys as they could the world would be awesome. But that isn't the only double standard that works against me; I'm only 5'7" so I hear this all the time, "I can't date a guy that's under 6'," something I couldn't change no matter how hard I try. But guys can't say, "I can't date a girl who is under a C cup."
One double standard I think is just kind of sad, is the one for female pop singers. As long as I can remember Brittney Spears and other female pop singers are hounded by the paparazzi but N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block get to do interviews in all the tween/teen magazines on their own terms. But photographers hound Brittney Spears, when there is over a dozen people taking hundreds of pictures of her every day, it's only a matter of time before they finally get a vag shot. Even by out of control girl standards, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nichole Ritchie... All actually committed crimes of some sort and then violated parole on top of that. As far as I know Brittney Spears never actually got caught doing something illegal. And then Jessica Simpson had a bad reputation when she thought Buffalo wings came from buffaloes; you want to tell me Lance Bass is the sharpest knife in the drawer? Probably not, but I'll never know because they don't talk about his shortcomings. Then of course Miley Cyrus seems to get it worse than anyone, first she gets in trouble with "racy" photos in Rolling Stone... Good lord if she were only 3 or 4 years older they would say, "beautifully tasteful photos" I guarantee. I bet Justin Beiber could be teabagging Oprah on the cover of O magazine and nobody would give a shit, as long as Oprah was on the cover. Her Twitter posts, party photos, all that stuff even made the news (the honest to God old people TV news) but do you know how bad JT would have to fuck up to make the news?
Now most of you have probably guessed I'm not a huge pop music fan as far as it goes but there is one girl I feel especially gets an unfair shake. That would be Ke$ha; she has to be the first pop singer where I actually like her personality more than her music. Her songs are about clubbing and being out of control; fun girls fucking rule in my opinion. I'd take a out of control party girl over a supermodel any day of the week. And yet there are some vajays that just don't seem to get it:
First question... Where the fuck did these jokers come from? Unless it's Salt Lake City's vagina I am completely confounded. Second of all, the disclaimer? Disclaimers are only for things that are fucking cool, and trust me, you are in no way in danger of being awarded any cool points. Then the guy sniffs it and says,"ewww..." I can't even think of a circle of friends where that would fly. I know chicks that would stomp you for saying something like that. It's fucking Jack Daniels, that stuff will barely put hair on your nuts. I've drank shit that will make you grow hair on the roof of your mouth and Jack isn't even on that scale. In fact everyone is granted one drink they can't drink for instance tequila (for me it's Rumplemintz) but Jack Daniels is never acceptable on that list, never. And I kept waiting for someone to finally say, "Dude, it's only Jack Daniels quit being such a pussy," but it never happened. I can totally respect people who don't drink, but damn, you need to at least understand when you're being a little bitch about something... and I don't think he does, none of them do. Maybe I wouldn't brush my teeth with Jack for fun and gargling it does seem kind of gross because it's not the same consistency as water and I'd worry about swallowing it while I'm gargling; but come on, on a dare I could do that no problem, no disclaimer needed. And to answer your question of what I'd say if a girl told me she just brushed her teeth with a bottle of Jack; "please have sex with me," didn't even have to think about that one.
In an interview with the Times (the link has since gone down so I'm sorry I can't site it properly) she says, "Everyone's really offended by that. But come on, brushing your teeth with Jack Daniel's: what girl does that? People are like, 'Do you really advocate brushing your teeth with bourbon?' I'm like, 'Yes, actually, I do, every day, for everybody. Especially eight year olds.' I mean, what are you talking about? Of course I don't. Come on." The fact she actually has to even explain that is just kind of sad. Eminem never had to justify why you really shouldn't have unprotected sex with a passed out 14 year old, drinking a fifth of vodka and driving, or causing earthquakes with your penis. Not only that but she's even admitted that her persona is sort of a joke, a white female rapper with a dollar sign in her name... Yeah again, I didn't need that to be explained to me, I got it, it's why my moniker is JKon it's slightly a joke slightly serious. I don't really understand why her out of control and strange behavior bugs people. That's what makes chicks cool, at least she has some depth to her. And finally she gets a bunch of shit for using autotune, like chicks need to be able to sing and T Pain and Kanye West don't? Fuck that! Anyway before I even saw a picture of Ke$ha I was in love, and she pretty hot to boot so anyway I'll just end this by saying, "Ke$ha, I don't care what anyone says, I would totally do you and that offer still stands even if you gain or lose 70 pounds so I mean that is a huge buffer. Call me!"
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